Gluten-free cheddar scallion biscuits

Before my gluten-free days, I had an infrequent, periodic passion for biscuits. I was usually immune to their buttery charms, but once or twice a year, I would crave them something fierce, and only McDonalds sausage egg and cheese biscuits could make things right. I would order one of these monstrosities, devour it to the disgust of my companions, and be sated for the better part of a year. Let’s face it: my family originates variously from England and the Mid-Atlantic US – we just don’t eat a lot of biscuits. These are the first biscuits I have made since going gluten-free, except for a disaster more than a year ago in which I used coconut milk (??) for the buttermilk and created a tray of hockey pucks that somehow gave me a terrible stomach ache. But enough about all that. Let’s talk about these biscuits, because I promise you that these are best thing I have put in my belly in last few months. Sharp cheddar cheese and butter were always meant to be together, and the slight sharpness of scallions elevates this to another level. And by “another level”, I mean “a higher plane of existence.”

I tore the top off of one of these biscuits while they were cooling, and ohmygod, I nearly passed out with joy. I literally stood motionless in the kitchen massaging my belly in ecstasy. I didn’t know that people actually did that, but I do, so apparently they do. Ok, let’s try to speak intelligently about these biscuits. You rub some butter into a mess of gluten-free flours, add an enormous amount of cheese and a somewhat smaller amount of scallions, stir in some buttermilk, plop on a sheet, bake. But let’s elaborate on that little word “bake,” shall we? After ten minutes in the oven the cheese is melting and the scallions are softening, losing their sharp edges and becoming totes BFFs with all the other ingredients and you’re standing there in the kitchen, inhaling and feeling so smart that you invited all these kids to your party. After 15 minutes in the oven the cheese has oozed out and is rapidly becoming delightfully crusty, and the interior of the biscuit has hollowed out into a crispy shell, with tender crumbs and streaks of melty cheese and little morsels of scallion magic suspended inside and GOOD LORD. Just bake these. Please.

I came across this recipe in a familiar way, through Smitten Kitchen. Deb has this uncanny ability to sift through the vast reams of recipes in the world and tell you which ones you should use. Because face it, there are lots of shitty recipes out there. Deb’s passion for stellar ingredients and her dedication to finding the exact ratio or technique that will yield the most stunning results has led me to many delicious destinations. She reinterpreted these biscuits with blue cheese, but I went to the source, Epicurious, to find the original, highly flexible recipe she used. For flour proportions, I consulted Gluten-Free Girl. Shauna has got gluten-free baking down pat, and while I sometimes can’t use her recipes because of her reliance on eggs, her flour recommendations are usually spot on. I tweaked her flour combination for her biscuit recipe to fit into the measurements for the Epicurious one.

At this point, it would be dishonest for me to withhold the information that I ate 7 of the 8 biscuits my halved recipe produced within three hours of baking them. I have no justification for this behavior. In fact, the only reason I didn’t eat all 8 instantly was that I forced myself to save one for the morning so I could photograph it in daylight.

Gluten-Free cheddar scallion biscuits (adapted from Epicurious, with an assist from Gluten-Free Girl)

1/2 cup minus 1 tablespoon potato starch

1/2 cup sorghum flour

1/2 cup tapioca starch

1/2 cup sweet rice flour

1/2 teaspoon xanthan gum

2 1/2 teaspoons baking powder

3/4 teaspoon baking soda

1/2 teaspoon salt (omit if your margarine is salted)

6 tablespoons cold butter or margarine, cut into 1/2-inch pieces, plus 1 tablespoon, melted, for baking

8 oz sharp cheddar cheese, coarsely grated (about 2 cups)

3 scallions, finely chopped

1 cup buttermilk

Preheat the oven to 450 deg F.

Whisk together all dry ingredients in a mixing bowl until well-combined. Add the butter and mix with your fingertips until small crumbs form and you no longer have big butter chunks. Stir in the cheese and scallions. Pour in 3/4 cup buttermilk, and stir until just combined. If the dough is still stiff, add the remaining 1/4 cups.

Drop dough onto parchment paper-covered baking sheets to make 12-16 biscuits. Brush the top of each biscuit with a small amount of melted butter. Bake for 14-16 minutes or until golden.

Can be stored in a Ziploc at room temperature, but they are infinitely better right out of the oven, so eat as soon as possible. Like you needed an excuse.

These biscuits are ridiculously flexible. You can swap out the cheese for one you prefer. On commenter on Epicurious substituted rosemary for the scallions, which sounds so delicious that I am tempted to whip up another batch right now. You could sub any herb or onion-variant here. Garlic and cheddar? Mmm.